Pennsylvania

Apartment update.

We’re going to meet with the owner of the apartment on Sunday at noon. There is apparently another couple interested in the space so… Yeah. Move in date would be July 1st. I need to save a lot of money in that time. Note to self: if it’s supposed to happen, it will.

friendly reminder that:

• you are not weak if you want meds for your disorder
• you are not weak if you relapse once
• you are not weak if you relapse a thousand times
• you are not weak if some kinds of therapy don’t work for you
• you are not weak if some kinds of meds don’t work for you
• you are not weak if you have a mental disorder.

(Source: cishetssuck, via al10ns--y)

Marijuana and bipolar disorder medication

I’ve been in a serious depression since July of 2011 to April of this year. In January I stopped smoking pot and felt a lot better. I stopped because I came clean to my doctors and they explained that the thc and my mood stabilizers battle it out and basically and that the pot is negating the effects of the drugs. But I started smoking again occasionally and it was fine. But the past week has been heavy. And I feel like total shit. Without knowing I fell into my mental addiction again and now I’m so anxious I don’t know what to do with myself. I want to stop again, but the thought of stopping makes me want it more…. Because it makes me feel great in the short term. But I’m done… I can’t start feeling like this again and I know it’s playing a huge role. We’re probably going to check out the apartment today… And it’s got me geeking out. I have to leave for work, I need to get my head straight but man… All I want to do is self medicate… Shit.

Shit is happening too fast, and not fast enough

So my fiance and I are going to look at an apartment tomorrow. It’s a two room studio with lots of square footage built off the side of a barn. I’m already in love with the idea. But here’s the thing. I don’t have any money saved up because I’ve only been working for a month. My car insurance went down by one hundred dollars so that’s a plus. But my fiance has his part saved. I’m thinking I could probably scrape together enough for the deposit and first months rent IF we moved in July. But I’m worried I won’t be able to afford it. Theoretically, if my math is correct, I should be able to pay my bills and rent and have a remaining 200 a month… But Idk. I need more time to save more money but I literally don’t know if I can live in this house anymore. I just don’t want to go see it tomorrow and fall in love with it… Only to realize that I can’t afford it. :’(

do you ever just watch the first episode of your favorite show again and look at how plain and simple everyone is before character development sets in and terrible shit starts happening to everyone

(via cherishthebooty)